Life is about balance.
It might sound corny but its true. Everything in the natural world seeks to balance its self. From the melting ice caps regulating the worlds temperature resulting in the longest winter in our generation proving Global Warming was a buzz word Al Gore used to make millions on speaking tours and nothing more to the teeming swarms of mosquitos who feel the need to devour my alcohol soaked blood every time I drink outside around a campfire thereby balancing their own nutritional need with my blood to booze ratio, everything seeks balance.
Not only does the physical world crave balance but the existential one that we normally can’t perceive strives for it as well. You might be asking at this point ” What kind of philosophical crap have I wandered into here? Isn’t this the guy I normally laugh at cause his dick is hanging in the fucking wind?” Trust me, it all makes sense in the end.
The winter was coming to its inevitable end and as has become apparent our climate seeks to balance its destructive nature with the fact most people have made it through the winter with minimal home damage. See, it’s a theme ( sigh, face palm). The last of the winter storms had rolled through pushed by rising temperatures and hellacious winds. The phone calls began pouring into the office and we were trying our best to attend to the most pressing ones as quickly as we could.
The day was coming to a close and we were no were near completed the calls we needed to attend to. Dart and I decided to try to get one last call done before calling a day. The house we were headed for was a customer’s home who owned a large factory. Hoping to impress him with our skill so he would hire us to do some work on his massive building and the fact he had called over nine times in a state of panic lead us there in the rapidly waning daylight.
Large swaths of snow covered areas of the low-pitched roof and we had to search to find the area of damage. It was buried under an ice cemented drift that we hadto chip out just to see. The wind continued to howl and I had finally had enough. It had been a miserable day and I was tired and angry and cold. Mother Nature might be trying to balance her seasons but I was trying to balance my bank account. My desire to start me work season off with a large industrial contract won out over the weather and we stood the ladder up. The wind pushed at it and shoved the top all over the place. It took both Dart and I to get it in position.
The more the wind screamed, the more I was determined to get the repair done. My teeth gritted as I removed the damaged shingles and the cold wind blew up my back. With numbing fingers and ice pelted faces, we finished the repair as quickly as we could. With not a small amount of pride, I stood at the peak of the roof and turned my face to the howling wind and howled back. Throwing back my head, I howled at the top of my lungs.
” Fuck you, Mother Nature ,” I thought ” I win.”. I headed down the ladder and asked Dart if he needed help with the ladder. He shook his head to indicate he didn’t need assistance as we were both too cold to talk at that point. I turned my back and headed towards the truck when the wind howled anew and I heard a whistle and a loud thunk right before my world went dark.
My eyes snapped open and I found myself on my knees in the driveway. My head was ringing and I was mildly certain I had just shit my pants. My vision was swimming and then I heard footsteps hurrying over towards me.
” Are you alright?,” Dart asked as he rushed up to me.
” What the fuck just happened?” I asked as I shook my head trying to clear my watering eyes.
” The wind picked up just as I took the ladder down and it smashed you in the head,” Dart explained.
At that point, I stood up and think I shook a small poop down the leg of my pants. My ears were still ringing and it was accentuated by a fresh blast of ice peppered wind. In a moment of clarity, it all made sense. Dart had trouble balancing the ladder in the wind. Mother Nature seeking to teach me the error of my cursing her had shoved at just the right moment sending me home with fuzzy vision, a swollen skull and poop stained pants.
You might be chalking it all up to bad weather and coincidentally bad timing but I know better. It’s all about balance.
Well played, you bitch. Well played.
The Things I See Up Here 